Update on our *Grayce*

Time flies by and after so long I again find myself asking questions to decide if we should dive back into our journey to have another baby. In one way I feel so selfish asking God for another baby after he has blessed us so generously with our Summer-Grayce, and then in another way feel selfish not giving her a sibling, a friend for life, a partner in crime, a shoulder to cry on when I can't be there oneday.... the decision is difficult, as the road in trying to conceive was long and painful, and its a road your heart just does not want to jumb back onto in a hurry. Time is running out for me as I am 37 and did not have a great ovarian reserve all those years back. I find myself daily asking God to just give me a clear YES or NO... but as I learnt its a desire of your heart and if its meant to be it will happen. With us falling pregnant naturally is no longer an option (as you will know if you followed my blog) so its a decision we have to make to actively decide to head back to Cape Town and try again.....

[watch this space]

Our little gem of a daughter will be 4 in Feb... and what a gem she is! Blows us away daily by her gentleness, love, kindness and funny sense of humour! (like her dad:)

*photoshoot in Mauritius - June 2015

Our biggest G I F T is almost 3 x

What can I say, time flies when you having fun! After many years of struggles to have a baby, fast forward nearly 3 years later - and we are just loving our beautiful blessing - little miss summer-grayce. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving her to us! She truly is such a joy and can't imagine life without her. She is a real daddy's girl in looks & character! Guess its time for another one? yes, no? maybe :) Not that easy when making a baby involves, loads of injections, hormones, mood swings, tears, finances, hope, pain, fear, joy, expectation, nerves, patience, doubt, faith, love, anger, scans, doctors, labs… I will say it again… Yes, No, Maybe? …. only time will tell! Time is not on my side, but when it comes to God, age is nothing and timing is everything… so we wait… wait on God…  xoxo

*our family photo shoot - September 2014. TRPHOTO.

...and Summer turns one!

I can't believe how one little girl can keep a mommy so busy :) (no time to blog:) Life sure is full having this little bundle of joy in my life! This year has just flown by.... with a jam packed social schedule of swimming twice a week, moms & babes, play dates & parties! ...already!

On the 3 Feb 2013 Summer-Grayce Bloom turned 1 and what an awesome year it has been - the happiest year of my life! To think we struggled through so many obstacles and went through very trying times to have her - and what a little gem she is. She's such a happy little girl - always smiling and ever so happy to wave and smile at everyone! Her joy is contagious and I often find my cheeks sore from all the smiling I do when I am around her - she just completes us! She loved her party very much - and played the whole 3 hours:) Her theme was 'Sofie the giraffe' after her favourite teething toy, so I thought why not do a whole Sofie party too :)

If I look back to when she was born I thought sleep was definitely something I would NEVER do again :) well lets say a full (uninterrupted) nights sleep was a thing of the past - but what you dont realise as a new mom is that it gets easier! It really does. In the beginning you think ok 1 baby is enough - then they get older and your heart starts longing again for another.

Here are a few of her milestones.....she sat at 5 1/2 months, crawled at 9 1/2 months and is still crawling :) She stands on her own but is not interested in talking any steps....why would she when crawling gets her everywhere she wants to go and faster :) She is quite a talkative little thing....says all her basic words like dada, mamma, nanna, ta....and tries to say cold, cami, coming, purple. Her baby babble just flows and its so gorgeous to hear her little voice as she tells me stories and moans at the barking dog :) She is really into packing and unpacking boxes, bags, shoes (her love for shoes is already emanent)  - she loves art or pictures on the walls and insists on touching and feeling the textures...wonder if she will be creative like her mom:)

Highlight of the year - our trip to Dubai - In her first year of her life she has been 3 times to the UAE (first in utro:) the second time she was 3 months and now she was 11 months. She had an absolute ball and got spoilt rotten by her Nana & Papa. Having them live so far away is the hardest thing - thank goodness for Skype else we would not manage the distance! She was an absolute angel on the flight, she got alot of attention from the air hostess as they kept wanting to take photos with her :) She was so friendly to them that they couldnt help but love her! Shes a real little social bunny like her dad - loves people and adventure! The world is her oyster!




I continue to thank God for her - she is more then I could ever have asked for or imagined! He really has blessed us. We continue to seek Him as we start to plan for our next child. Children are a God-given blessing and I speak for my husband and myself when I say we are so so grateful for our little princess. Mommy & Daddy loves you soooooo much! xoxo

Mother's Day

Firstly Happy Mothers Day to all you fabulous mom's out there. Being a new mom myself, I have a new respect for what being a mother means ... Complete self-sacrifice ... A choice you make every single day, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own - willingly!  Taking a step back... I'm reminded just how difficult Mother's Day use-to-be for me ... How it reminded me every year that i was suppose to be a mom to the baby girl we lost and the heartache of failed attempts to conceive again ... But God had a plan ... A perfect plan!  I hold Summer in my arms and stare at her perfection, tears streaming down my face, heart bursting with joy, I just thank God over and over again ... for breathing life into my womb and entrusting me with this blessing. She's a miracle. She grew in my broken womb ... and she's perfect. Today my heart is breaking for all those hundreds of women trying to conceive their miracles, doing everything in their power to get their hearts desire ... today is hard for them ... Very hard! I know. Lord please see their hearts, their desires... Amen x

Our 'Proud Parents' photo shoot - with Summer-Grayce

Little Miss Bloom - 6 weeks

The time is flying - our princess is already 6 weeks! She is an absolute angel and such a blessing! She really is a good little girl! Nights are not too bad either - waking for 2 feeds - and then she goes straight back to sleep. Today she started the cutest little girgling sounds and cooing - with a smile! She just loves her nanna and seems to perform her little cute antics for her....:) Im just food to her :) Still breast feeding and loving it - I still think its so wonderful the way the body works and that I am able to keep her alive with the milk my body produces - is the body not an awesome thing! God is so good! Here are a few pix of our princess! Will post her shoot pix when I get them - should be this week! Off to get ready for bed...Summer will be waking soon for a feed... *night world xxx

Our Birth Story

Scheduled due date for caesarian - 8th Feb 2012. It all started on friday the 3 February. Woke up early that morning with loads of excitement - my mommy was arriving from Dubai - a few days before our baby girl is born! I am so excited to see her and share with her the excitement we both feel for the arrival of Summer-Grayce. I fetch her at the airport and we rush for my last check up at my gynie...he requests I do a stress test in the maternity ward before I go up to his rooms...the test takes longer then before - for some reason Summer-Grayce was jumping around and they have to redo the test! By now my mom has not slept for 24 hours as she flew through the night and she catches a few winks on the chair next to me as I watch the machine beeping at every movement she makes. We rush up to the doc's rooms as we are now nearly an hour late for our appointment, when I arrive I go straight through and do all the usual urine checks, weight and blood pressure - all looks great! Then doc scans me and does all the necessary measurements - baby girl is doing well - all on schedule. My mom starts asking doc all these questions about what she sees on the screen - mom says, "oh cute doc is that her hand" doc replies "no thats her stomach :) hehehe

Eventually doc scans over her abdomen and mom asks again - "doc what is that" and he is quiet... he replies I'm not sure - never seen this before.....now that is not something you want to hear! My heart sinks and my mom and I stare at each other...thoughts start rushing through my head oh no how can this be - I have been blessed with the most amazing pregnancy - healthy all the way, now 5 days before my due date and there seems to be something wrong! I start shaking....

...doc calls in his assistant and says "Nikki get Dr Nicoli on the phone..." its late on a friday afternoon and no reply from Prof...so we start hunting for another doctor for a second opinion as to what this could be in babies tummy. Eventually I get an appointment with another gynie (lets call him Dr H) in the hospital and they are waiting for me in their rooms....I am tearful and concerned as my doc suspects there is a block in babies colon and a block in the colon could perferate at anytime. Dr H asks me my history ....how far am I, "37 weeks 3 days", etc etc...eventually he scans me does a few measurements and says baby girl looks healthy - then he gets to her tummy and sees the same thing (it looked like honeycomb on the scan). I had never seen this before on any of her scans. Dr H says the same thing - I've never seen this before! He manages to get Prof Nicoli on the phone and they all make the decision to take her out immediately as she was estimated to weigh 3.1kg's and over 37 weeks. Within 30 mins I was in the theatre being prepped for surgery. Called my husband immediately who was at a lunch with his Directors on their 3rd bottle of vino :) he got there in 15 mins! (broken side mirror later - thats another story for another time)

I had the spinal block (ouch) I am so tall that they battled to get the needle in - they kept telling me to bend more into the fetal position (a bit hard when you have a big bump in the way). Eventually all went numb and operation could start! I was still feeling quite emotional but also excited to meet our little angel. They had prepared me that baby would have to go to the NICU for tests and maybe have to have surgery. So all the top surgeons were called in and all was arranged ahead of the birth - my doc did not want to take any chances - it had been a long road getting here and we were hoping everything would be ok. In my heart I felt a sense of peace, and just had a feeling all would be ok....

At 5:54pm Summer-Grayce Bloom was born, weighing a very healthy 3.54kg's and 52cm long - my Paed was absolutely amazing, she held my hand the entire time and kept telling me what was happening. She lifted my head and I watched them pull our princess out - wow amazing! Just after they cut her cord she started to cry - that was just mind blowing - hearing her for the first time! Tears began to flow... my Paed placed her on my chest immediately and told me as far as she could see she looked perfectly healthy! I held her for a few minutes but all of a sudden felt very nauseous and felt like I was going to faint... apparently I lost alot of blood due to low lying placenta (doc managed to get the bleeding stopped thank goodness) but I had to be placed on oxygen till I felt human again. They then brought baby back once she had been checked and weighed and all wrapped up. I was then stitched up and my husband went with them to take baby to the NICU for further tests. The caesar was really quick, a little overwhelming having them cut you open and pull and tug at you but you cant feel a thing. In recovery I started to regain movement in my feet already - I was amazed - but just wanted to feel like normal as soon as possible. With the feeling of my legs came the burning pain in my tummy - pain was manageable. All I could think about was holding my baby and getting her to latch. By now I was not too worried I just have this great sense that all was going to be fine. I was then taken to my private room and immediately they brought my baby to latch.

Back in the NICU they put a pipe down her throat and took an xray to see what was going on - fortunately the block (merconim illious) had come loose when she was born and all looked 100% fine! Thank the Lord! Prof Biel was called in to look at her and he gave her the all clear!\

I was so blessed with the breast feeding - she latched first time - I had lots of colostrum. Day 3 my milk came in and the nurses showed me how to massage the knots out and helped me over the next few days how to latch. They were amazing. By the time I went home we had the breast feeding thing under control. Fortunately for me no cracked nipples, not engorgement! All went so very well. 6 weeks later and we still going strong!

The worst part of the emergency birth was I had nothing with me, all our cameras and video cameras where fully charged lying ready for the day of action. My bags were packed but were 60 km's away - at home! My mom who had not slept in nearly 48 hours by now had to drive all the way home to fetch all our stuff as the nurses needed clothes for baby - my stuff arrived at 12pm!

The next few days were amazing - we were all on cloud 9 - the happiest time of our lives! The pain was managed with omnipon injections (1 after the op and another the next day) after that it was suppositories and painkillers. I must say I did not battle at all from the caesar - I was up the next day and felt no pain at all! I recovered about 1 week after the op.

The best thing of all was brining Summer home to her bedroom - eventually I got to use all her stuff in her room - all those days of preparations and the little one was here!

The next few days were difficult adjusting to the lack of sleep, and the constant changing of nappies and learning to care for this new little life! After 2 weeks I finally felt human again and that I was getting a grip on things. At 6 weeks things are starting to feel alot more normal. We take her out quite alot and keep busy where and when I can. I am so grateful to finally have our little miracle with us! She is here! We are so blessed. I am forever grateful!

Thank you Lord for this blessing!

Our miracle is here!

Summer-Grayce Bloom was born Friday the 3rd February 2012 @ 17:53 via emergency caesarian. Weighing in at 3.54kg's and 52cm long. Our precious princess was born at 37 weeks and 2 days. Our scheduled date was the 8th Feb but we got blessed to hold her 5 days earlier then expected. She is absolutely perfect in every way and we are completely besotted with her - she has stolen our hearts and we are so grateful to God for this perfect blessing!

She is 11 days old today :) and I still cant stop staring at her - I just cant believe that she is here and she grew in my tummy and after our long journey and battle to have her - she is here!

My heart is over-joyed and I can't stop thanking God for her. There is this amazing peace over our home - we are so blessed to have her in our lives.

I will post our birth story soon :)

Signing off with a grateful heart xxx

the last stretch - before we meet you - 7 weeks to go!

Boy oh boy has the time flown past! The last 2 months have just come and gone... been busy with getting everything ready for our princess! In between that got blessed & spoilt with the most amazing baby shower and had our first 4D scan - wow that was super special seeing her for the first time!

I will be 8 months (32 weeks) this week! Our caesar is booked for 8am on the 8th Feb 2012 - wow just around the corner! So far I have been feeling completely amazing and really feel that pregnancy is good for my body - I feel better pregnant then when I am not! No more pimples, no more migranes, no painful periods, no shoulder pain, no hectic mood swings & best of all no endometriosis can grow as pregnancy is a temporary cure for it... this pregnancy has really been a blessing for me - thank you Lord! Its just the last few days I have felt tired and a tiny bit nauseous again - think its just the last trimester and maybe also the heat does not help! Tummy getting nice and big now :) I just love feeling her more and more as she grows! I can already see her sleep patterns and when/what wakes her...she is a real blessing already and I just know she is going to be a wonderful little girl! I have also been recovering from bad flu, I decided to fight it on my own without and antibiotics, and so glad it passed, now its just getting strength up again and getting ride of the sniffles:)

It's that very special time of the year again - Christmas - the birth of our Saviour - I love this time of the year and my heart is bubbling over that I will be finally caring the best gift I could get - a baby girl! I remember that Christmas was always an exciting time for me but I always had this deep longing and burning desire for a baby - I would say all I want for Christmas is a baby! This year I can say that God has given us the best gift - firstly His Son Jesus and secondly a child of our own! "baby girl I really cant wait to hold you"

Her room is almost done - all her furniture has arrived and her cupboards are all packed - it looks absolutely dreamy - exactly what I dreamt it would look like - I could sit in there for hours - such a peace and happy place! I imagine sitting on the chair with her in my arms....her sleeping in her big cot....bathing her....so so special! Her daddy will be hanging her pictures and mozzie net this weekend - then all is done. The last few weeks we will spend washing all her linen and clothes. Hospital bags are basically packed - which sets my mind and heart at ease - should she decide to surprise us! we had a wall mural made with a scripture that was placed on my heart for our princess, it says, "For I have plans for you Summer-Grayce, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." That is the desire of our hearts as her parents.

Here are a few pix from her 4D scan - she was fast asleep and really not in the mood to be woken up! I think now that I should have had some coke or sugar to wake here hehehe but never thought of it! I really think she looks like her father - I cant see anything of me :) It also looks like she has hair - will be interesting to see if she is going to be a little blondie like her mommy and daddy! I stare at her scan pix on the fridge and try and imagine how she looks but you just cant! I kiss her nose every morning....its all very cute!

26th November 2011 - Baby Blooms Baby Shower - wow what a spoiler of a day! It was a High Tea in the Loggio Room at the Westcliff Hotel in JHB. What a beautiful day! Always dreamt about my babyshower 'one day' and this was more then I could ever have imagined! Our princess got spoilt with the most beautiful gifts and I was totally showered with love, smiles and happiness over the joy of baby bloom! Our hearts desire created from prayer, a thought, a hope a dream....

As I write this I reflect back to the beginning of the year and even though I had a very expectant heart - I never imagined our miracle would be growing in perfection in my belly so soon...how God just made the way and how He has been with me every step of this pregnancy - I continue to pray for his protection and safe delivery of precious Summer-Grayce - it is only because of His grace we will have the honor of bringing up this precious child of His.

Merry Christmas to all our friends, family, fertili-friends & precious people that read this blog - may you too be blessed this Christmas and know that the maker of our universe is besotted with you and has only got plans to prosper you and not to harm you! - Jeremiah 29:11

We're 6 months already - time is flying**

Where is the time going? 3 months left until we meet our daughter...

So we had our 24 week scan and it was so good to see her again and see how much she has grown - wow! You can no longer see the full baby on the screen anymore - only parts of her! She is weighing about 650 grams and although doc is unable to measure her length anymore - the books say she is about 30 cm head to toe! We caught a beautiful shot of her face - its much fuller and bigger and looks like she looking straight at me! She was a lot more chilled today, she is also settling into more frequent and longer sleep cycles...as she wakes and moves around a little less then before. In the mornings when I wake up she also lets her presence be known with the most awesome pushes and punches :) she must know I am talking (thinking) about her now cause she has just started to move again!!

What a beautiful feeling to experience - I am totally besotted with you baby *SG* so is your father!! Doctor very happy with your progress - you are no longer lying breech and facing the right way and growing perfectly! Dr vdw wants me to stay on the progesterone till the end. I will go back for another scan in 4 weeks time. Dr gets so excited to see us and keeps saying "Well done - I am so happy!"

We have set full steam ahead with the nursery now...things finally starting to happen:) We have received a quote to have the walls plastered and down lights etc done - that will start next week, the cot and compactum are ready just waiting for the baby cupboard to get painted then we can collect it:) Yes *SG* you already need 2 cupboards for all your beautiful things - my girl you are so so spoilt already - everyone is so excited for you to arrive and cant wait to dress you up like a princess! You will definitely have at least 4 outfits everyday and I will be sure to change you that many times a day :):) You have so many different designer dummies - the cutest little ones I have ever seen...I just wonder if you will like your dummy - if you anything like your mommy - you will :) I had my dummy till I was 5 and even then I didn't want to let it go! *SG* you have everything of the best already my princess cause all we have ever wanted is you - God has blessed us more then we could ever imagine....and I just know He has big plans for your special little life! I have made a mural for your bedroom wall that says "I know the plans I have for you Summer-Grayce, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29 vs 11 You are already Jesus' princess! Jesus says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you before you were born I set you apart" - you are going to be beautiful and unique in every way...I pray for God's favour over you all the days of your life!

We chose your name 4 years ago and when I read up the meaning of your name it said "warmth - love and protection of God - unmerited favour - divine favour and physical elegance" exactly how we picture you! happy, loving, friendly, beautiful, and with a heart after God's own heart! Your mommies name also means grace...my ouma named me that!

So hoping all things go as planed your bedroom will be ready to start getting ready at the end of November! So excited for that!! Your nana is coming to see us again at the end of November and for your baby shower! Its going to be a stunning beautiful time where all the people that love you can come together and laugh and celebrate you!

Mom's belly grows everyday :) I just love being pregnant with everything inside of me! I love the way my tummy looks - I don't even notice my scars anymore - the scars that I got in order to have you our miracle child! I just always knew and never stopped believing that you would grow under my heart in my belly! As many times as people would say you can always adopt...I just knew God was going to knit you in my womb! Thank you Jesus again and again and again for baby bloom in my belly.... :')

We love you 'Summer-Grayce Bloom'

xoxo

a growing bump...

I don't think you ever get used the feeling of the little life wriggling and kicking around in your belly...its the last thing I think about at night and the first thing when I wake in the morning - nothing beats waking up and rubbing the little ball on your belly...then waiting to feel her wake and let you know she's there and safe! I love her so much already...

So we boarded a really stunning aeroplane (the new Emirates A380 airbus) on the 6th Oct and headed to Dubai for a holiday and a spoil with my folks! The flight was great as I had the seat by the window right in front of the plane - with loads of leg room and I could get up and walk around as much as I needed - I think I visited the loo like 8 times :):) I was fortunate - had no swelling on my feet and felt great through the flight and when I arrived!

Little baby Bloom in dubai - my pregnant tummy at 21 weeks...

...so I finally you can see I 'm pregnant - my belly has a definite little ball now :) and its firmed up alot - love it - its the best feeling:)

Dubai is amazing - my parents just moved in to their new apartment on the 49th floor of a skyscraper... the view is breath-taking. When I wake up during the night to turn I open my eyes and look out this massive window and see the amazing lights of the other buildings high up in the sky....it so beats the burglar bars we have to live with in JHB! I am getting so super spoilt here - I get home cooked meals, tea in bed - its divine!

My mom and I have had a blast shopping up a storm for our little princess! She is already very spoilt - its so hard to resist the gorgeous little girl things - been waiting my whole life for this! Found some really stunning stuff (that I cant get at home) and best of all we found our pram! That was the best feeling getting it! I really love it :) Here's a pic.... it has 3 attachments the car seat, the cradle and the pram seat....

All the material things aside - the only thing that really counts is the precious little life that has been growing for 5 1/2 months...a baby really is a miracle from God - and watching her grow and change and feeling her move is a constant reminder of how awesome God is! What a privilege to carry God's miracle!

I am grateful for a wonderful healthy pregnancy and continuously pray for His protection over her daily...thank you Lord for *SG* you created her outside my womb and knitting her together inside my womb - WOW!

Saying good-bye with a heart bubbling over with happiness and joy!

100% confirmed - we're having a girl!

After a shopping spree of pink and all things beautiful for my (70% chance its a girl) princess - it has been 100% confirmed that you are the angel we have longed for! My heart also longs for a son (and I will pray and trust for him) - but a princess is such a blessing for us - I can't explain but is like God has personally given me the most amazing gift - just for me! "He knows the desires of your heart - He sees all the things your heart longs for - and He WILL fulfill them in His perfect timing". I cried many nights and days - kicked and screamed and wrestled with the pain in the quiet of my room - the pain of the loss of our first little girl at 10 weeks, the pain of everything we went through - of what my body went through - and God saw my pain and saw my heart and He is fulfilling every single desire and more!! This is all more then I could ever wish for. The feeling I feel is more then I ever imagined it would feel to carry this gift. Growing under my heart - the heart that just wont stop bubbling over with joy, love, excitement, anticipation...

Our little one is looking so healthy - scan days for me are always so stressful - I count the sleeps out of excitement, but on the day I silently go through serious waves of heart pulpatations and nerves - until they turn that scanner on and I see her move and see how much she has grown in 4 weeks! It's amazing!

She is measuring at about 13 cm and has the longest legs (I know I always mention that - but the doc and assistant always gasp at her long little legs - in all their perfection) She is measuring 6 days ahead of her original due date - so current due date is sitting on the 17 Feb. I'm having a caesar so that would possibly be at 38 weeks or as long as we can keep her in:) 39 if possible :) Will take it one step at a time. I have been diagnosed with a low lying placenta at this stage, which is not a concern yet as it usually starts moving up from 30 weeks. I will pray and believe and trust that it will and is moving up everyday! This is God's plan - and His plans are perfect! I am on progesterone twice a day till 36 weeks.

Doc has given me the all clear to book my flight to Dubai - going to visit my mom in October for a nice holiday and some girlie shopping for our princess! Oh boy the excitement - to see her hold her - spend the days chatting laughing - eating all the yummy things - long naps - those days when we spend the whole day in our pj's - 2 weeks of bliss! My hubby is going away to China for business and has given me the blessing to go with his daughter in my tummy for some R'nR :) Doc wants to see me just before I leave to give me the final all clear - we don't want to take any risks. He is happy with how things are progressing - and says she is perfect.

I agree - perfect in everyway!

I guess the fun can now start getting going with the nursery...so exciting! It's gonna be dreamy...a little princess wonderland! Its gonna be perfect - just like she deserves!

Thank you Jesus for giving me my hearts desires in every aspect of my life - I am so super blessed! Blessed to be a Jesus girl...my life is worth nothing without YOU!

a message for our baby**

"The precious miracle of a baby - and the love you feel for a baby from the minute you find out you are pregnant. I long for the day I get to hold her - and tell her face to face just how much I longed for her - how long we waited for her - how much we wanted her - and how much we prayed for her - and how we will be forever grateful that we have been blessed by this miracle - such an honor to be entrusted with carrying life - God is knitting you in my womb and I feel and see you growing daily.

I was a little girl - who dreamed of a little angel like you oneday - you're mommy and daddy are absolutely besotted with you - all 16 weeks and 5 days of you!

Love you my *summer* xoxo

16 weeks *already* - looks like we having a princess!

Where to start... its been such an exciting 5 weeks! I can't believe just how quickly the time if flying, weeks feel like days... In the last few weeks after our non successful 'gender' scan, I booked a scan at Genesis Birthing Clinic to see if we could see pink or blue..after another amazing scan - looks like we are having a little girl :)Baby was so active and she was lying like she was on the beach with her little arms behind her head - laying on her back, then in a blink of an eye she was lying on her tummy kicking her legs... it brings tears to see her wriggling around. She was measuring 14 weeks, 1 day, weighing 82grams, measuring 8.33cm, heartrate of 162 bpm - a tiny miracle.

Last weekend was my birthday weekend and I must say it was the best birthday ever! I got 2 of the greatest gifts - my husband all to myself in a 5 star luxury spa resort and my 15 week baby in my tummy :) what more could a girl ask for. I got treated like a princess and every one of my senses where completely spoilt, the view was breath-taking, the full body preggi massage was a God send, our bedroom was a picture from my dreams - the decor - everything was just all the things I love! We ate like kings and queens and it felt like we were dreaming - my husband really went all out to make it the most special time of our lives! This I will always remember. I have inserted a picture of our princess (in my tummy) and our beautiful room... I really was a slice of heaven!

Friday night I was laying in bed (watching the bachelor finale *blush) and for about 30 mins I felt the little poppit wriggling around and tiny little kicks..I have felt a little kick here and there but only once - this once very distinct, and its always in the same spot - she is lying quite low still and on the left side of my belly. There is little area on my tummy that juts out more then the other side...and in the morning when I wake up on my back it sticks right up...

I just love being pregnant and thank God daily for our baby and just continue to pray His protection over her and our family! Our ever faithful God - has given us this baby and I promise that all the days of my life I will bring this child up to know Him and love Him with all her heart - God has such big plans for her life - for all our lives - and the best we can do is to bring her up to know Him personally and love Him with all her heart.

Here are pictures of my growing bump at 12 weeks, 13 weeks & at 16 weeks :)

Good night my blogger friends - may God bless you and keep you and let His light shine apon you xoxo

11 weeks tomorrow*

Wow oh wow - do you ever get used to seeing a precious miracle wriggling around in your tummy!

Went for my scan today and the ladies were all so excited there - Nicci (Dr's assistant and I have become really good friends over the years) grabbed me and said come lets start scanning and get some good pix before doc comes:) So I jumped on the bed and we took a sneak peak! The baby was doing back flips :) wouldn't stop moving for a second! She asked if I had had something sweet and I admitted to having a sip of my dad's coke *blush* :) can you imagine if sugar gets them so excited how important it is to eat properly!! I had tears rolling down my cheeks just ot see that little precious baby with its long arms and legs moving around like crazy... so i am suppose to be 10 weeks 2 days today but the scan is showing 10 weeks 6 days. So baby has jumped ahead 5 days My EDD is now the 18th Feb. Baby is now 4cm, and had a heartbeat of 171bpm.

Eventually Dr came and smiled at us all oogling at the baboo. I then begged and pleaded with Dr to see if we could see anything between the legs...which we did, a tiny little something (even have a picture) but Doc says it could be either girl or boy too soon to tell - he is not willing to put money on it haha. We are all thinking its a boy....

So funny how you just want to know....and guess and and....but not like it even matters - just grateful everything is looking good.

Next scan at 13 1/2 weeks.

Really starting to look pregnant when i stare at myself in the mirror - my body is changing everywhere :) i have put on 1.5 kg's already... nurse says I should put on 1.5 every month...so lets see!

Just pray everyday for God's protection over our miracle - that we love so very much already!

Here is my bump at 10 weeks 6 days. I have also inserted scan pictures. 1.You can see babies leg and food clearly. 2. This is a shot of the bottom - you can see the 2 legs in the air and a tiny bump between the legs. 3. Babies profile has its little hand by its face.
Baby is starting to kick - arms and legs continue to grow and are able to start bending. Baby is 4cm long (head to rump). The critical part of the babies organ system development is over. Baby will grow rapidly and double in size by next week.

*9 weeks*

Had another scan yesterday - measuring at 8 weeks 6 days - will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Babies heartbeat was a fast 167 bpm. Makes me think its a girl...deep in my heart I think its a girl, but then it could be a boy :) I would be over the moon with either.

Really so amazing to see that little flicker of a heartbeat and to see how much she/he has grown in 2 weeks. Everything looking perfect and healthy. I can feel my tummy is growing already...only thought this would happen from 12 weeks but already there is a little bump and all my skinny leggings are just too tight around my waste. My mom and dad came with to the scan and they stared in amazement at the sound of the pounding little heart. Was great to share it with them as they are down visiting from Dubai...the desert!

I really am so in love with our little miracle and cant wait to be over the 12 weeks so I can relax a little more.

Its not easy to just relax if you had had a bad experience before. Its still hard to sometimes believe that I am actually pregnant! Wow the thought overwhelms me. We are here. This is it.

Here are some pix of my 9 week belly, and 9 week scan.

**Our little angel is now measuring 2.09cm (the size of a grape) and weighs 2 grams. Baby is starting to move its limbs quite a bit and teeth are forming in the gums. Tongue, lips and nose are continuing to grow. The sex organs have formed. Wonder what you are my little precious one? :)**

Meet Baby Bloom *7 weeks* - 1st Scan...

So it was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen :) We arrived at our scan and had to wait over and hour to see the Dr - the nurse weighed me, I gave a urine sample and was then told to undress and wait in the scan room :) Eventually my darling FS arrived in the scan room congratulating us on the awesome news - He was over the moon and so happy that this has finally happened. After all we have been through to get here *sigh* its been hectic - but looking back its all worth it - every minute of it!! This feeling - nothing can compare to this feeling - absolute happiness, joy!

It was like time was standing still - cause all I wanted was to see our baby ... and everything just seemed to take forever!

Eventually he scanned me and there we saw this precious little gem...as perfect as ever! He quickly scanned around to see if there were more then 1 - which I knew in my heart - there was only one :) Then I asked, "Doc do you think we will be able to hear a heart beat?" and he replied " Yes of course we will hear a heart beat" :) So he placed the scanner in place and the next thing you heard this beautiful sound echoing through the room - the little one has a strong heartbeat and everything is looking amazing! 130 bpm :)

My DH was smiling from ear to ear - he was so excited for this - and carries his scan picture in his jacket wherever he goes!

The nausea is getting worse by the day...and the tiredness has not subsided at all... its the joys of having a little person growing at such a rapid rate at this stage! Wow I can't believe it - still - I have so so much happiness in my heart!

Due date 23rd February 2012

*Our rainbow*

Im not sure if I blogged about this before, but its something that happened to me and I find it so super special and hold onto it everyday! On the day we were going in to have the ET (Embryo Transfer - our babies put back) its was early morning and sun was rising and it was drizzling the softest rain ever... and as we took the turn off to the hospital, there was the biggest rainbow i have ever seen! It was a full rainbow from the one side to the other and you could clearly see every single colour. I thought oh wow that is amazing - on this special day I get to see that special blessing! Then I forgot about it....

2 weeks later back in JHB in my 2 ww I am lying in bed crying thinking what if this did not work - what will I do - where will I find the strength to go through this again - can I really take anymore heart ache...and while I was praying God showed me the rainbow from that day as clear as can be and it was like He said I gave my people that rainbow as a promise - and on this day I give this rainbow to you - as a promise to you! Believe!

So now everytime I doubt anything in this journey I just look back to the picture in my mind of that perfect rainbow and I am reminded of HIS perfect plan!

Thank you Lord that you are in every detail and you know how much those little things mean to me...God sees our hearts and our desires and He wants nothing more then to make every one of them come true!

...and another...

I am starting to think I am addicted to beta testing :) I went for my 5th test this morning - really could not resist, and the result came back at 8746 :) so looking really good. I am starting to think that there is a small possibility that there could be 2 little snugglers in there! So we will see on Monday. One more week to go.

Today is the first day that I am really feeling nauseous! It seems to be alot more consistant now....as before it would just come and go in waves!

I have told myself NO more beta's, but I think i will just do one last one on friday - for the fun of it! Hey I have been waiting my whole life to be pregnant - why not :)

Its just so interesting to see the levels rising and by how much! I cry everytime I get the results back - as if I am hearing I am pregnant for the first time.

I have also used a few different calculators to work out how far I am as it differs when you do IVF to a normal pregnancy. So some say I am 5 weeks and 6 days and others say 6 weeks. Blood test results put me at 6 weeks on the chart.

Here is a pic of the digital preggi test I did :) 3+ means 5 weeks+

I will post again after my scan in a weeks time!

I went for a 'sneaky' blood test...

Ok so I couldn't resist *blush*... I just get over-joyed at seeing my rising beta's!

Went for #4 @ 18dp5dt and its 2646 so it has been increasing by a bit more then double every 2 days

So the lab say I am measuring at 5 weeks exactly. Fertility Clinic work it out that I am 4 weeks 4 days according to when they did the ET.

By the looks of my beta and the amounts it is rising we have a little 'singleton' which I am also so over the moon about. Twins would be a HUGE blessing - but God knows what's best for us!

First scan is on the 4th July.

I managed to find a digital pregnancy test - been hunting high and low for them but they sold out everywhere!

Wow I am still in awe of this miracle growing inside of me and I thank God everyday for blessing me with a baby - God is so faithful - we must just believe!

Seems like there have been alot of BFP's on the Fertilicare forum lately! (so much for the IVF not working in WINTER story) - congratulation to all of you and I pray for a healthy full 9 months :)

To all of you TTCing - I know this is the hardest thing to go through (ever) but just believe ....your miracle is waiting for you around the corner!