So I'm sitting at woolies coffee shop waiting for my 1 o'clock app with my FS (fertility specialist) for my follow up app - re our failed IVF cycle. I am - yet again - carrying a whole bunch of emotions of all the different chapters going on in our lives, and I sit asking myself why does life have to be so so hard!
Recently (during my IVF cycle actually) we got a phone call and asked if we would be interested in adopting 2 babies (6 mth baby boy (Jude) & 2 year old little girl, and they have been on my mind since the phone call...at that stage adoption had been something we had discussed but not decided to be our next step to fulfilling our hearts desire to have little pitter patter in our home, and have a baby to raise with all the love and care in the world! So after discussing it we decided things like that don't just come to you for no reason, so we have recently been in contact with the SW and have set up an appointment to meet this week. I just heard today that there are 2 other couples already who have gone through the whole screening process and evaluation etc and the hearing for the children will be at the end of September, so the SW (Social Worker) is concerned that we might be too late, but we are still meeting with her to see what we can do. You see with God - you are never too late - His timing is perfect! I have told myself that if this is meant for us and if it is from God - He has to open (ALL) the doors. Now I say this and try to just let God take control - but I have this fighting spirit inside of me to try do everything I can to get the opportunity to give those children the BEST love, care and family in the world! God knows they will be so loved....
...but I HAVE to leave it in God's hands, and just take it one day at a time. I promised myself not to get emotionally attached to this - but yet again - my heart is 100% in it! Like everything - I give my everything! "God please just give me the strength to surrender all to You. I need You. Can't do this without You." *tears please hold up - I'm in a coffee shop and people are going to start staring...sniff*
So I have to just take a step back and let it happen....
The other side of things are - what decision are we going to make re our fertility journey...to keep my tubes or to have them removed surgically or blocked non-surgically....will see what the doc says...one step at a time!
One step at a time.
4 comments:
Wow - two babies - that's quite something to have thrown at you! Best of luck in simply trusting to what is mean to be and with the adoption screening process and with your WTF Appointment with the FS. Dying to hear a full update on all of this.
I agree with you, something like that doesn't happen for no reason. I like your outlook and faith that God will provide. Good luck and I pray you aren't too late, however if it doesn't work out it means there is another plan for you. Please KUP on your appointment with your FS. I pray that you get your miracle sooner rather than later
xxx
Hey Hon, glad to see that you are taking things one step at a time. it is such a cliche but things really do happen as and when they're meant to. only, its easier to see it in hindsight.
i'm holding fingers and toes for you.
One step at a time is the way to go and since you still have time thanks to your age, try to do one thing after the other.
I hear you about surrendering AND investing yourself 100% ... I guess that is just who you are. Go with it, He will give you the strenght and wisdom !
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